It's been a long couple of weeks.
I've lost everything.
I've gained perspective.
I'm finding that maybe I had things/people I didn't know I had.
But I miss my best friend so much. And I wonder if I'll ever mean the same to him again. If he'll ever be able to trust me again.
He told me once I would come to the point where I had two choices: to give up or move forward. He told me he was afraid I'd give up on everything. On life, on him, on my friends.
I almost did. But I couldn't.
Now it's become one foot in front of the other. One of my other friends told me he was angry because of how I treated myself. I still can't shake the feeling that he's angry and distanced from me.
But I've made a choice now. I'm moving forward. And I'm not worthless.
Vicki,
ReplyDeleteThat's the hardest part. Admitting that you aren't worthless and starting to treat yourself how you treat others. It sucks cause it's lonely (you know that) cause you have to figure out who you are on your own. I remember having to walk through something similar my Freshman year. It sucks. But I believe in you.
Call me if you need to talk stuff out. And I'll see if I can find my journal from that time. Might have some interesting insight.
yay Vicki!
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